There was a smashan near the place where I lived. Somehow I got interested in getting a siddhi kill (killing by means of special power, developed with the particular practice). It is called “marna” in Hindi. I made friends with a man who knew those things and he gave me a certain mantra. The ritual was very simple. You need to sit down there for the particular restarts of your consciousness for 21 days doing that mantra for certain times. When you are young you are a fool — so I just decided to try it. I took that mantra and a certain ritual. But it was a smashan where most of the time any corpse was burning there. And I had to go there exactly at 12 o’clock in the midnight and exactly till 4 a.m. I had to do my japa there. For 20 days nothing happened. And on 21st last night I saw the corpse. He must be a poor man. Cause only one log of wood was on the top of that corpse and it was burning. So the corpse was half-burn and half alright. It looked very dangerous and horrible. So I just sat on my usual place and began my japa trying to avoid looking at that corpse. Half of his body was burning, half was okay. He was a very dirty-looking fellow. Suddenly there was a small blast near the corpse and a blue light suddenly went up and his head moved to look at me. He looked at me with one eye. I thought of running away. But he told me: “If you run, you will go mad”. So I plucked up my courage and finished the ritual. I was full of fear, because the corpse was looking at me all the time. When the final thing was done suddenly the blue light disappeared and the corpse again was dead and everything was fine. But I began to feel different.

When I found my guru, he told me: “It was not a good thing because no matter how gentle you are — something will happen in your life which will make you angry and you can use that power to kill somebody. Just to prove a point”. I understand that he was right because he had a certain power like this. No matter how gentle you are — some situation will come in your life and just out of anger, just to prove how great you are, you will use that. It is a dangerous power — to be able to kill. Just like that, by simply chanting a certain mantra for one hundred and eight times, thinking about somebody — and the person will die of vomiting and choking with blood. I just threw it away. It happened in 1981 in November. Near the Diwali time. Diwali is the festival when we burn lamps. That night was to be the final night. So I am very happy I got rid of that. And a real spiritual progress began after that. It is directly connected with a black magic. But in India such a story is common. So many people try to do it, they really can exercise a certain power. And the people are really afraid of them and they give them money and respect. But I can say it is an absolutely negative attraction. When I looked at that — that time I really realized I was a fool. But when you are young you don’t realize these things.